disagreement - feedback - dialogue - resolution

there was a disagreement between another person and myself today. i'm gonna keep the person's identity a secret, 'cos i'm not gonna blog about him but about how we settled the disagreement.

the entire episode spanned about one and a half hours. it started off as a normal conversation, but then he brought up something which she felt could have been done in a better way. at first i did not understand, because it started off with him questioning why it was done "my" way first. so i explained the rationale behind "my" way.

halfway through this dialogue, we each realised that we were on totally different wavelengths.

i think after this both of us tried to adjust to each other's frequencies. we explored his ideas on how it could have been done her way and the biblical / logical basis for what we were doing, so that we could separate the principles from the methods and figure out which methods worked the best.

i'm glad to say that this matter was settled amicably and that we finally reached an agreement. both of us were tired but glad that we worked out the issue with each other. she expressed that he was glad to be able to have talked it out and i expressed that it was good to hear what he had to say, 'cos it helped us in understanding one another better.

we evaluated how we dealt with this disagreement. one thing that we agreed that was helpful was that both of us were even-tempered and patient thoughout the whole discussion. i wouldn't say that i'm a paragon of patience, but it sure encourages me to be more patient in listening when the person doing the explaining is patient with the listener as well. he was very patient in explaining her side of how he saw things to me.

both of us agreed that it was a healthy conflict resolution session, and i was quite energised after it despite having had a long day.




i saw a few biblical principles at work here in resolving this conflict.

1) in listening and getting feedback

Proverbs 18:13
He who answers before listening— that is his folly and his shame.

Proverbs 19:20
Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.

Proverbs 20:18
Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance.

advice need not come from "expert" sources -- moses took advice on how to govern the people of israel from jethro, his father-in-law, who was a shepherd. be sure that the advice can be backed up by biblical references though.


2) in speaking

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.

Proverbs 19:11
A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 25:15
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

gentleness and patience in speech will guide the disagreement into mutual dialogue instead of mutual accusation and anger. even if one party is angry, i believe that if the other person does not respond in kind, there is still room for discussion, 'cos one party cannot have an argument on his own! but if both parties ignite, it could get pretty ugly not only in the short term, but in the long run.


3) in having a common aim and a common enemy

Proverbs 20:18
Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance.

Proverbs 24:6
for waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers.

Ephesians 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

1 Peter 5:8
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

we are engaged in a war... and it's not with each other! if we make each other our enemies, then we're firing on our own people. in the vietnam war, many americans were killed by friendly fire -- which is just as deadly.

so we need to be self-controlled and remember who our enemy is. and advice and guidance can be obtained from many sources, as stated above.


4) in choosing an appropriate time and place for it.

Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

Ecclesiastes 3:7
a time to tear and a time to mend,
     a time to be silent and a time to speak,

the time and the setting of the place were quiet, without a lot of distractions, and it was just the two of us. it's not easy to find a lot of such places though.

some disagreements or queries have to wait to be resolved or answered, 'cos of the appropriateness of settling it immediately ("eh, CL, why are we singing this worship song again?"). and it does take some time to discuss it between 2 people, so it would be helpful to plan it so both people have no appointments after instead of one party having to rush off to somewhere else.




so i thank God for helping me see from a different point of view through the words of this person. and i think that this session really strengthened me to not be afraid of future disagreements or conflict, but to be able to face it in a calm manner.

say cheesecake!

one of my colleagues bought this for some of us today. wah it's super delicious!






this is the strawberry cheescake from "say cheesecake" in great world city. it came in a small plastic cup with plastic wrap on the top. it was soft and cheesy, topped with lots of small strawberries and lavishly covered with strawberry syrup. eating it can make you melt...

i hear it's quite ex from what others blogged about it, and i confirmed with my colleague that it costs at least $5 for a small cup like that, but it's top quality! mmmm mmm mmmm...

thankfully i've regained my sense of smell after 1 week of not smelling anything. it really helped me enjoy this cheesecake. i found out that this condition is known as anosmia (lack of ability to smell) and that some people are born with it! and some people like this guy lost it at some point in his life and he's still looking for a cure. wow. i treasure it so much more now.

see how the tree blooms!

today i went with 3 other unit members to the botanical gardens to see this tree in bloom. wahaha... all of us suddenly got the "雅性" (refined desire) to connect with nature?




actually its because this tree (the illawarra flame tree aka Brachychiton acerifolius) hasn't bloomed in the past 10 years it was in the botanical gardens due to singapore's wetter weather, so when it bloomed it became news in singapore. a sister read about it and wanted to see and photograph it, so we tagged along.

the area around the tree already had lots of blossoms, so we picked some up to photograph them. my handphone camera isn't great, so it looks very blurry. but as you see, the blossoms are very small... and the whole tree is covered with it!




i'm not someone who appreciates cut flowers in a bouquet because they last only for a very short time. the flowers of this illawarra tree started falling the next day after it bloomed! i'm always reminded of what Jesus said when i see this happening...

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:28-34

*sniff*

i lost my sense of smell! i think it's either the flu bug affecting me or a side effect of the medication.

i can't smell food, chemicals in the lab, body odour or the condition of the common toilets after a day. it's kind of good when the the smell is just a bad smell, but when smells might mean something bad (something burning or a gas leak) it's kind of dangerous.

i just realised the importance of smelling stuff!

how to take care of yourself when you're sick

i've learnt a few things about taking care of myself when i'm sick, 'cos usually my parents don't stick around to mother me. there are 3 areas that are really important to cover:

1) hydration

green tea and ribena



2) nutrition



sandwiches and spaghetti from 7-eleven
and a large mashed potato from KFC! :P~



3) medication



6 kinds of medicine! :(



i got all of the above in 1 hour, i.e. i left my home, went to see the doc and bought "groceries" for my hibernation and got home in 1 hour. (this is only possible in singapore, where taking public transport and buying groceries is easy and fast.) i got lots of drinks and food 'cos i knew i'd need a lot of rest (the doc gave me a 2 day mc) and i didn't want to run out again. i also did this while have a flu, a cough and a temperature... it's doable!

or if you're willing to pay a delivery charge, there are stores which will deliver to your home too.

in particular, i'd like to recommend syrup - in my case ribena - 'cos it contains glucose (and maybe some, maybe no vitamin c). syrups are weight-efficient, 'cos you have to dilute it to drink, so there are a lot more drinks that you can get out of 1 litre of syrup as compared to 1 litre of "anything" or "whatever". and syrup counts as both hydration and "nutrition" 'cos of the glucose. muah haha! and if the syrup contains vitamin c it can even count as "medication"! 3-in-1.

the good thing about doing your "shopping" all at 1 time is that the rest of the time you can rest. for me, i realised that the combination of my illness and the medication given me caused me to sleep day and night... not the kind of deep sleep, but the tossing kind of sleep, 'cos i had difficulty breathing with my nose blocked. so to get the max amount of rest, have a tumbler full of water beside you so you don't have to get up and walk around to get a drink.

if you plan it right, you can achieve maximum rest and recovery time.

although i'm not 100% recovered after 4 days of rest, i think my plan still works. my slow recovery is just due to the tenacity of the virus that's inside of me now.

making disciples by God's grace

  You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs—he wants to please his commanding officer. Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules. The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops. Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this.

2 Timothy 2:1-7

my lab

my boss took a pic of us at our weekly lab meeting today using his cell phone. it's for his talk tomorrow.

my boss isn't in the pic, though.

at the center of the pic you might notice this soft toy. it belongs to one of my labmates and we call it "yeastie".

the professor...


it's available for sale at this quirky website called giantmicrobes.com, and all the soft toys there are modeled on actual viruses, bacteria and unicellular organisms! plus other things as well. btw, those light brown patches on the head are known as budding scars... any yeast cell that has budded (reproduced) itself at least once will have scars like that.

the original

it's a real mighty worker and it's the reason why we can have bread, cake, wine, beer and soda water! when the bible uses yeast as an symbol for sin, it just shows how pervasive yeast can be, to affect the entire batch of bread or grape juice when just a little of it is introduced. yeast power!

new 7 wonders

the announcement for the new 7 wonders of the world is out! and the winners are listed here.

(count on wikipedia to have a page of info on it!)
i'm kind of sad that angkor wat didn't make it. this is a problem with internet voting - most voters voted for their country's icon, and some voted for their favourites, but as few cambodians have internet access, there weren't enough votes for it to be ranked as a "wonder".

they're getting married!

2 friends are getting married to each other today and i've been invited to the wedding at trinity theological college! adam and grace, all the best to you in your marriage and God bless!

(if i have any pics it'll be up later.)

my d&d alignment

a few of my colleagues are into rpgs based on d&d (dungeons and dragons). i know a little of it from reading up on such games before. there are alignments (loyalties) in the d&d games that users have to pick... one of which is whether they want to be on the side of Law (authority, order, light) or Chaos (freedom from rules, morals and ethics, disorder, darkness). there is a third alignment - neutral, i.e. not on the side of either Law or Chaos.

there is another set of alignments that's not determined by being on the side of Law or Chaos... it's whether one chooses good or evil. one can also choose to be neutral about this as well, i.e. neither good not evil.

so in all one can choose from a set of 9 loyalties - but in most games, the choice to be chaotic and/or evil is not available as there's a mission to complete, and a chaotic/evil character's tendency is just to prevent others from reaching their goal.

the 9 alignments are:

	Good	Neutral	Evil
Law	Lawful Good	Lawful Neutral	Lawful Evil
Neutral	Neutral Good	Neutral Neutral	Neutral Evil
Chaos	Chaotic Good	Chaotic Neutral	Chaotic Evil

wanna know which alignment you fall into? take this quiz to find out. :D according to this quiz, my alignment is...

What would your Dungeons and Dragons alignment be? (pics)

Neutral Good
Neutral Good - Benefactor: A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them..Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order.
Take this quiz!


Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

the quiz says that neutral good is the "best" alignment... i'm not so sure of that. firstly because any alignment you get will be praised as "the best" anyway. secondly, for me anything outside of evil is great. :P

an old pic

i found this old pic of myself on my friend's homepage... i look so young then hor? :P but like hairstyle never changed... hee...



this photo was taken when i was in NUS... these were my Science Faculty Club buddies. lost contact with a lot of them already...

so blessed. :*) :*(

just now some friends made an effort to pass this to me.



while i was drinking it (and feeling quite blessed), i was flipping through the april 07 edition of national geographic. i came across this picture which i didn't notice before...

Text reads: Emblematic of First World exploitation of Africa's resources, only the carcasses of Nile perch are affordable sources of protein for some Tanzanians living around Lake Victoria. Perch fillets are stripped in 35 lakeside processing plants and shipped north, mainly to Europe but also to Israel. With years of over-fishing, perch stocks have fallen drastically, imperiling the livelihoods of more than 100,000 fishermen and depriving local people of food.


i felt so sad seeing this woman eyeing the bones of a fish for food! the best is gone... and this fish comes from a lake near her house some more.

and meanwhile i knew where the meat was going... to people like us lor.

 
perch in japanese and french cuisine.


it's during times like these when i ask God... why am i so blessed? i didn't do anything to deserve it! i could have been the woman in that photo looking at that fish and deciding whether to spend my earnings on it to feed my children at home.

and what i know is this:
"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."
Luke 12:48

we are blessed to be a blessing to others... don't forget to thank God and others for the blessings we have now and to look out for opportunities to bless others!

my babies!

i've been working on constructing a new strain of yeast in my lab over the past month and a half. last friday i finished the final step and plated the little ones on several petri dishes filled with an agar that allows only the "chosen ones" to grow.

and the results are out... here are my babies!





hee hee... so many of them! and these are only 2 of the plates. now the only thing left is to check that they carry the right DNA and in the correct amounts. once it's confirmed, i'll give the "chosen ones" a "birth cert". he he.